Soccer Mom

Ryan had his first ever soccer game on Saturday

and it was a complete and total crack-up.

Here he is all nervous and excited: A few pre-game kicks:
I'm not exactly sure what this move is but I'm sure glad I 'caught' it.
I'm calling it his 'bowling move' because this is what he
does when he's waiting for a bowling ball to hit and well,
the soccer ball was goin' pretty slow...


This is Marcie and she's the coach.
She rocks.
Seriously.
How stinkin' cute is it that they are all holding hands?

Stretching.

More stretching.

More stretching.

The pre-game 'talk' with the Ref.

The Ref rocked too.

So much so that I had to tell him how much.

He even tied some shoes

AND told the kids to turn around when they were headed for the wrong goal.

Yeah, he rocked too.

Gearin' up for the start. What can I say? My kid's a shrimp :)

The rat race begins.

Takin' turns.

Cheerin' the team on.

6 years ago I sat in an office filling out paper work.

That paper work required me to write down how many times I had been pregnant.

The answer (at that time) was 4.

4 pregnancies and my {home} was still empty.

4 seemed like a really, really, really {lonely} number.

Fast forward 6 years and now I'm a soccer mom.

God is good.

All the time.

Awe, shucks.

I came back from the Spelling Bee today and this is what I found on my desk: ...with an Obie's coffee...

...and a note that said "I love you"...

...from my favorite person of all time...
...who I forget to tell all the time...

Thank you, JD. You certainly brightened my day.

adventures

...there is a swing that is like no other...

(and fyi that is BBQ pork in Gage's hand because, let's face it, sometimes we multi-task)

...there is a swing that is like no other (part II)...

(even though this kid is a durn good pumper)There is a swing in another town (but not too far away) that Ryan is *ahem* obsessed with.

it's a swing attached to a a zip line...

and here's the end of the ride:

the smile to prove the {love}:



there is a swing like no other that brings a smile like no other.

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gage had fun too (even though he's too little for the Zipline Swing)

he had a blast with the "ducks":



he kept running around them saying, "Hi ducks!" and making seagull noises- so, so, so funny.

he even got to feed a few (underarm).

and (overarm)

gage's new {thing} is to name something (like "duck") and then sniff the air and say, "mmm...smells good". park-goers found him quite entertaining. and so did i.

seriously. this park (howard amon) is worth the drive.

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what trip would be complete without sand in the shoes?

and because i'm a {freak}, i force my children to hold onto things while i take their pictures near water. note that gage is not in these 'light' photos- lol.

this day...this day at the park...i'm never gonna forget it.

i don't remember my costco list from that day.

or what i picked up at target.

i do, however, remember hearing ryan ask if we were almost at the park

and thinking "oh yeah, i guess i did tell him we'd go..."

i do remember the smiles on these two little guys...

and the smile in my heart as i watched them play.

...just another day at the park and i can't think of anything i'd rather be doing...

cheers to your next park adventure!

If You Were Me...

If you were me, then...

- You woke up early on Saturday to have a date with someone very special.
- You drank two cups of coffee and learned a LOT.
- You watched your lil boy play his first ever Pee Wee sport- Soccer!
- You took that same four year old to Urgent Care later that day. Yes, on a Saturday.
- You waited with one other dude for an hour before being called back.
- You couldn't remember the name of the decongestant you last gave your sick kid and looked like the worst, most careless mother in the world.
- You waited for an additional hour and practically dislocated your hip by swaying a sick 40 -pounder back and forth.
- Sung that sweet sicko to sleep and let the waiting frustration start to boil.
- Listened to the voice inside you that said "patience" "gentleness" and most of all, "SELF CONTROL".
- Asked politely how much longer the wait would be.
- Remained silent as the doctor diagnosed a double ear infection and listened intently as Ryan asked him to, "Please take it out".
- Went to RiteAid to pick up meds.
- Stopped by Jack in the Box for an iced tea and a sprite.
- Went home to watch movies with Ry- his pick? Jesus of Nazareth.
- Pulled weeds while the sick one slept.
- Showed little Gage how to spray Sadie with the hose - loving his belly laughs.

If you were me then you're staying home today to wipe runny noses and fix clear fluid kinds of meals and you know what? It's alllllllll goooooooooooooooooooooood.

I'm just wondering...

I'm just wondering...Why did it frost just {one} more night after the day I planted my garden ????


I'm just wondering...Why did it take the state of Oregon just {four} short days to CASH.MY.CHECK ????

I'm just wondering...


...Why doesn't a fake tan (the bottle kind) ever look real ???


...When will it be warm enough to bust out some open toed shoes ???


...Am I going to make it to the end of the school year ???


...Will I ever get off the slimfast diet?????????????????????????


Today I'm doing a lot of wondering because quite frankly, I've entered a Twighligt Zone and I'm calling it "I'm just wondering".

4...goin' on 18...

You might see someone who's 4.

You might see someone who's goin' on 5.

You might see this little boy and know

that he'll be 18 before we know it

and this will be a stark contrast to his senior picture.

You might see a scowl.

You might see frustration.

You might see a blue tie that matches his eyes ...

but you don't see the dancin' shoes he {adores}.

You might see a smooth, untouched face

and a belt like papa's.

You might see a blond widow's peak

but you don't hear him tell me that he

wants to marry me.

When I look at pictures of Ryan, I wonder

what his life holds for him.

I see dreams.

I see success.

I see talent.

I see some struggle.

I see dirt and machinery of some kind.

I see jet skies and four wheelers, for sure.

I see a wife and I see kids.

I see a brotherly love that goes {deep}.

I see a {ready} canvas...
and I feel a mama who's tryin' like crazy to swallow

the lump and cheer him on.

- flying -

it's never easy.

A Picture Tale

pictures are worth 1,000 words...

Happy Birthday Gage

You Are TWO

Happy 2nd birthday sweet boy. You are growing right before our eyes and we are still amazed that today you are two whole years old! We thank God every single day for your life and feel so blessed that you are sharing it with us.

His Work in Me (Installment 3)

I found out last week that I'm luke warm and it totally sucks. Luke warm? Allow me to explain...



I'm reading this book (Crazy Love) and the chapter last week was called "Profile of the Luke Warm". Chan basically profiles me in the chapter. It's a list of what a Christian doesn't look like and yeah, he doesn't use my name but believe me, I'm etched into the fiber of every page.




Every single one. It's basically about a going-through-the-motions kind of rutt. It's about doing the mininum all the time. It's about being selfish with my time, my energy, and my resources. It's about losing that compass and getting too comfortable.



John 10:10 says "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."




The pre-last week me would have interpreted this scripture to mean that if your life is in step with God's plan, then he would fulFILL the desires of your heart. He will bless your life in ways you can only imagine.



Then I learned that we as humans, yeah, we're pretty much experts on FILLING ourselves up. Food. Closets. Circles of friends. Schedules. The list could go on but the truth remains; we like it all full.



I've been meditating on this lately. I don't think that we're meant to be FULL of anything but Christ. I think that it means if we can fill our day- our morning- our lips with his Word, then the fruit of His spirit will pour out into our lives. Only then, are we truly and sustainably full.


I'm going to confess one of my biggest, deepest, darkest secrets and it might just shock the pants right off of you, so hold onto your britches..



Sometimes ... often times ... when I think about Heaven, I think about Olivia. I think about what her voice might sound like. I picture her running through golden wheat fields with pink blossoming dogwood branches in her outstretched hands. I picture butterflies frolicking around her long, curly brown hair as she skips into my arms...can you see her? I do. And sometimes, I look for glimpses of her here.






My heart literally races at the possibility of embracing my little girl {again}.

I get school-girl giddy about it. Sometimes when I think about Heaven, it doesn't include worship or white horses. In my mind, it's just me and my baby girl. Then suddenly, the guilt sets in. Why don't I feel that way about meeting the Almighty..the creator of this universe...the One? Why don't I get those feelings when I think about standing at His throne?
Then I think about embracing Him. Somehow, the thought of His hug, His arms around me, well, the thought just makes my heart stop. I have got to get myself past not feeling as though I don't deserve that hug. Christ died on a cross. My savior lives...and loves. He loves so much that he sent his baby boy to tell us how much.

___________________________________

I learned these words from a fellow blogger and they have rung in my ear ever since reading them:


I'm still doubting, still searching, still falling, still hurting, but until this breaking heart stops beating - You will find me still believing...

___________________________________


Last week Beth Moore, in her study on the fruits of the spirit, challenged me to wake up each morning with this in mind:



1st; pour out. Pour out the hurts. The concerns. The strongholds. Pour out the doubt and the inadequacies. Pour out the fears. So I'm pouring. Believe me, I'm pouring every ounce of that luke warmness right out of me. It is so toast, you don't even know.



2nd; pour in. Read the Word. Pick up your bible and open it, Lisa. Read it. Feed on what it's saying. Nurture your soul with what the Spirit is revealing to you. God is talking to you...listen!



I'm not sure where this post is going, except to say this: Being a Christian is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's a daily struggle; a daily committment. I fail. I fail a lot but it excites me to think that my profile is getting warmer.

I am growing.




Stretching.




Reaching.




Leaping.




Missing it.




Stumbling.




Falling.




Living.




Loving.




Believing.


I'm desiring to be used by You, God and until my heart stops beating, this life is yours.

Circus de Freak

We took the kids to the circus a few nights ago. I don't know if it's the full moon or what, but I'm just in a sour mood over the whole ordeal. Every time the ring master picked up the mic, it was..."Promise me you won't go home without one of these over-priced pieces of junk" or "A special treat just for you...check out the lamo stuffed animals that will probably cause you to break out in a million rashes because they are made of such CHEAP fabric". Seriously, ya'll. I'm either getting too old for the circus or my mother is wearing off on me because I cannot think of one good reason why must I sit and listen to commercials at the circus???

Okay, maybe ONE good reason:

The highlight of the evening was this, which concluded with Ryan very enthusiastically informing me:

"Mama...I wanna do THAT when I grow up!!!!"

Lord help us now.

What Ryan is Teaching Me

I have to be honest. There's a struggle in my heart right now. My little man is getting ready to take the kindergarten plunge and I'm not entirely convinced he's ready.



Don't get me wrong. I have myself one smart boy. If you've ever talked to him, you know that he's smart. He can write his name. He can cut along straight and curved lines. He knows his letters and he knows his numbers. He can read three letter words. He can count beans and fruit loops...and rocks and screws. He can classify shapes and knows his colors. He can build like noone else, lemme tell ya. His vocabulary amazes me and his curiosity intrigues me. He's funny. He's witty. He's personable and he literally lights up a room.



So if he's ready for kinder on 'paper', why am I not yet convinced? Why do I feel that he's not {quite} ready?



Maybe it's because I don't want to stifle his curiosity with benchmarks.



Maybe it's because I want him to question things when he feels the urge to.



Maybe it's because I don't want to let him go into the wide, wide world and have it swallow him up.



Maybe it's because size-wise, he's small.



Maybe it's because I'm afraid he'll fail and every single fiber of my being, wants him to THRIVE.



Maybe it's because he has a hard time sitting still during story time.



Maybe it's because I don't want to push him too hard.



Maybe it's because I want him to fall in love with learning and right now his {loves} are a bit narrow.



Maybe it's because I can't picture him sitting at a desk for very long.



Maybe it's because I'm afraid that he won't like it.



Maybe it's because I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision and it will affect the rest of his life.



Why does this have to be so ... hard?



A good friend suggests that for now, I have to PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) hard.



PUSH.



PUSH.

And in the mean time, there's something that Ryan is teaching ME...

You have to start somewhere.

There are a lot of routes to the same destination

and sometimes, it's best to just dive in and give it a try.

School will be a lot like flight:
there will be highs, but they are not
appreciated without the lows.


And to get in the air, you have to start on the ground.


You'll get close to the finish and so long as you're flying, you know you'll hit your target.

You'll get closER to the finish

but you'll never get there until you take off.

My little man is growing wings and I'm PUSH-ing as hard as I can.