Memorial Day

As far back as I can remember, Memorial Day has been a

BIG deal.

My grandparents were/are really patriotic.

They {ARE}

red poppies

and girls/boys state

and white gloves

and American Legion

and placing flags

and being in the firing squad.

Everything that {is}

Memorial Day {is}

my family.

Memorial Day has never meant camping.

It's never meant a day 'off'.

It's a day to remember.

A day to be thankful.

Some of my {best} memories are of my grandma and I

wrapping coffee cans with tinfoil in preparation for the BIG day.

My job was to put rocks in them so they wouldn't tip over.

We cut flowers from my grandma's garden,

my aunt's garden,

and from any vacant lot we could find.

I spent hours with my grandpa looking for the grave markers

of war veterans so that we could place a flag on them.

I remember walking for {days} looking...

My job was to carry the flags.

Now that I'm old{er}, I want the tradition to continue.

Only now, there are more helpers to place flags so we're not needed for that.

and I haven't seen a red poppy at a Safeway entrance in a loooong time.

But we still have a very special job on Memorial Day and

I wanted Ryan to be a little more involved this year:

and Gage too:I wanted them both to have something to place

on Olivia's grave.

I want them to know that even though

we cannot see Olivia,

we still love her very much.

Ryan wonders more this year.

He wants to know why Olivia died.

He wants to know why Jesus 'took' her.

...and when we say it's because He loves her...

this is the first year he's said

"Well I love her too and I want her back"

*sigh*

to some people, it might seem morbid to hang out in a cemetery.

But to us, it's completely normal.

because 'normal' to us means
remembering and thanking.

Even when it's hard.
Even when it's sad.

Even when we'd rather not.
And I can't think of anyone else
I'd rather {remember} and {thank} with.

but until the day comes

- when we can hold our baby girl in our arms again -

we'll not only remember her {here}

but in the breath of every day...

thanking God all the while

for making sweet Olivia part of our {life}.