Funny title for a public blog, eh?
I feel bad. Guilty really. A tad disappointed too. When I posted the Easter 'teaser' I didn't realize how HARD it would be to put into words after it was all over. But mostly, I didn't realize how incredibly {personal} Easter was for me this year.
I am so humbled that Christ died on a cross for me. For you. For my little boys - the boys whose eternal salvation rests in my ability to introduce them to the God of the universe. I didn't want Easter to be bunny-centered. I didn't want my kids to 'want' anything on this day except an insatiable desire for salvation cultivated by a personal relationship with the One who loves best.
Pressure, much?
I found the words that my heart seemed to breathe. The words I wanted to share with my family...I felt giddy even...excited to 'teach' my family what Easter means to {me}.
There I stood. Eyes on me. And it was in that moment when I realized it was very, very {personal}. Those words that I found - the ones that my heart breathed - God already heard them from my lips. And so while I was saying them aloud in an attempt to make them more meaningful for Him, the holy spirit touched me deeply.
It was embarrassing. I'm not going to lie. It was.
I had this idea in my head and it just didn't play out the same. I'm an emotional person and there I was - balling all over our Easter dinner. There I was - barely able to get out the message that I wanted Him to hear...that I wanted to 'teach' my boys...that I wanted to my family to know. There I was...naked. exposed. transparent. Naked before Christ. Exposed before Christ. Transparent before our King.
Easter is a HUGE deal and as much as I wanted to fold my paper in half, slip it on my lap, and utter "never mind", I just couldn't. The message...and meaning of Easter is far too great for me to confuse it with my comfort. I pressed forward - got the word out by trust me, it wasn't as graceful as I had hoped for. Who even knows if a single word was understood...
It's funny how 'holidays' change when a person becomes a parent. I'm working on the message that will evolve into memory for my boys. I'm working on the Easter take-away and this year was step one.
I want my kids to know that Christ's love is sweeter than chocolate (even if I had to fight through tears to tell them).
I want them to know that the REAL treasure in their Easter basket is eternal salvation.
6 comments:
Oh, you are an amazing Mama! My eyes are misting just reading this post...and you were doing just what Christ calls us to do...being transparent, naked, and real for HIM! I know your boys are going to know He is sweeter than chocolate!!! Sending you great Love today sweet friend! Sweet blessings!
P.S. I LOVED your family photo :D
I know that the {personal} parts of us that are shared are what people admire most. I'm proud of you ... and I admire the way you stepped out of the box to celebrate all that He did ... all that He is ... and all that He will be!!
You are a great mom and I love your heart.....
It's funny, it really WAS about who was watching, wasn't it? You wonder if anyone there caught what you were saying, and whether we took anything away from it. Lisa, even without words, we all got to watch this beautiful relationship you have with God. It was written all over your face, and dripping from your heart. And I'm sure you already know that He, your BIGGEST fan, was watching and smiling down all the while. I have a feeling that God asked you to take a jump, and Lis... you lept for Him that day, and we all saw it. It was a demonstration who's effect you can't know the extent of. You bore witness to something real and vibrant in your heart... something deep and strong. How could God not be pleased, and how could your family not notice this? Thank you for inviting us, thank you for the absolutely amazing meal (believe me, even the potatoes), thank you for being obedient to Him. Most of all, praise God for what He called us from, and yet where He still plans to take us if we'll but just follow.
So proud of you for doing this! I'm sure they will remember more than you think. Often I'm surprised by a memory that my boys will share with me about something that I didn't even think they were paying attention to!
Oh I love this... so much! It IS emotional, it IS incredible, it IS personal. And you articulated it way better than you may know.
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